Death and dying is something that everyone will experience at some point in their life at some time in your life. It is also something that without a doubt will return from time to time again in your life. One thing is for sure, you can remember that you can and will survive it, and be proud to know it is one of life's most difficult challenges, if not THE MOST DIFFICULT challenge.
It is important to know that every one's grief is different. It is all relative. To each person, that special someone that is close to them that they lose is a life-changing experience. To many, the death of a child, is by far the hardest of all. Although death is a very natural part of our life-cycle, and the beginning our a new life on the Other Side, or whatever you may choose to call it, it is extremely hard for the living that are left behind to deal with the loss and the grief. I strongly believe that we are here on earth, our own hell, to learn the hardest lessons that we will ever learn. Learning to live through the death of those who have died, is quite possibly the hardest lesson of all! You see, they are happy on the Other Side. The are not sad for us or missing us, but it is terribly hard for us to get through each and every stage of grief to get through missing them and accepting that they are going to be OK, and that we are going to be OK, and to know that we will be with them someday and just as happy as they are when we are finally Home where we are supposed to be--when it is our time of course...
So you see, funerals and wakes and memorials are for the living not for the dead. They help us to move on, to accept our new life on earth, in our hell without these certain people that have moved on to another life on the Other Side, our true Home. We just need this extra time to say our good-byes, to pray, to cry, and to see family and friends for comfort and strength. We will understand this when we die, or perhaps as we are dying. Right now as we live and breathe, it is just too hard to grasp that there is no pain and suffering on the Other Side, there is no waiting because there is no time, and there are no struggles or testing because we learn that stuff here in our own hell on earth...In a way, we could look at our life on earth like one big dream, and when we wake from it, we will wake at Home on the Other Side, safe and sound with family and friends.
Why is it that when we lose the ones we love, we are left with such an empty, hollow ache in our guts? It's an actual physical symptom, like coming down the hill on a roller coaster. Well, that person is physically ripped from our existence physically, but we still have the memories, the love, the thoughts, the words that were spoken, and the spirit remains alive on the Other Side. Yet, we still ask the age-old question, "why him?" It seems like the good people are always taken away from us so suddenly or too soon. But there are still so many dark, evil entities living here blatantly hurting others and making other people's lives miserable!
I have read from several of Sylvia Browne's books that each person gets 5 exit points that we can take to go Home to the Other Side. It may seem hard to comprehend, but good people tend to take their exit point fairly early to cross over to the Other Side. They do so many times because they are tired of life here on earth, these kindhearted people feel they have completed their mission from God here on earth, and they are just simply ready to go.
I believe in the afterlife. I don't know if it is called Heaven, but I believe all our loved ones are there, that time is not a factor, that it is the most beautiful place you can imagine, that all of God's creation goes there, so my fur kids will join me too, and that knowledge is a priority, so there are many books and halls and temples of this and that to expand the mind even on the Other Side. People have visited this afterlife in dreams, astral travels, near-death experiences, and hypnosis regressions, and all have described the same features. We are talking about people from different cultures, ethnic backgrounds, and religious groups, who are believers and skeptics alike, and they all have seen the same thing. If you were a researcher studying these accounts, you would not only believe, but you would have confirmation!
Some make it to the Other Side and some don't. So we see ghosts and experience hauntings. These ghosts are the restless souls of all the people who have ever died, who had unfinished business or unresolved conflict on earth or suffered a traumatic death and do not know they have died, and they make up a very small percentage.
All loved ones that have died can come to us in our dreams, but that doesn't mean they are ghosts. They can communicate through scents like the cigar they used to smoke; dropping coins like pennies; ringing phones; and making electrical devices turn on and off. Animals and children can usually see loved ones who have passed over, and it is very likely to be because of their innocence--no one has told them yet not to believe or that what they see isn't there.
I'm not going to go into past lives because if you've read this blog before, you know how I stand on that. I believe in it. I believe that we will come back again and again until we have all the knowledge we feel we need to have on the Other Side. I would like to keep coming back until I know all I want to know about myself and about the human condition. I know I won't know that in this life, so I will at least come back once more. But because this is a very hard life for me, of which I put into my blueprints, I believe that I won't come back many more times because I'm trying to learn a lot in a single trip to earth. There are people that hypnotize for past life regressions, and the most traumatic seems to be the birthing process from heaven to earth, or our hell. When a person remembers this, it is too painful and traumatic, that it must be observed by the person and not experienced in the regression. That is amazing! It only shows that when we die and go back there, that it truly is a peaceful and wonderful place that we were pulled from in the beginning of this life on earth, only to rejoin our true Home again when we leave this one in the end--the new beginning.
It truly is amazing, but we see this as our home right now because it's all we really know. We have moved around a lot because my husband is a professor. We have lived in St. Louis, MO; Lexington, KY; North Providence, RI; and now Decatur, GA. Except for my birth city (and now the current city, but I'll get to that later on), every place that I knew as home, I didn't want to leave. You develop friends and relationships, and you have a house and pets, a life. It is comfortable. You think nothing could be better, until you move somewhere else. Now for me, it was a little different with St. Louis; although I had the relationships, the place never felt like home. Sure I cried when I couldn't see my friends and family everyday, but welcomed Lexington. I LOVED KY! I felt I had been there before, and the same for RI. When we left both of those places, I thought I could never find another place to love and meet people again, a home. Well, you always do, but as humans, we always miss our loved ones when we leave them for an hour, a day, a month, years, or forever--or at least until we go Home to see them again for a new forever.
I can touch on divorce, but not with any experience of my own. Many people have said that it is worse than death. They don't get near as much sympathy as when the other person dies...This is probably true. You also may compound this with any feelings of failure or isolation that may have gone along with the marriage/divorce. There may be guilt, rejection, and no one really wins, especially when children are involved. There is a learning curve with divorce. You are forced to throw yourself back into the world--to work, family, friends, life...
Grief can be seen as selfish. There is definitely a void, and I feel that it is your right to feel sorry for yourself for as long as you need to for that time to mourn the loss. You never will "get over it" as some people might tell you to do. Everything for the rest of your life will remind you of that person, a song, a smell, a taste, a place, pictures, etc.
What can we do about it? Well we never know when the death of a loved one or a memory will turn our lives upside down. So in the meantime, make the most out of every moment with your loved one. Remember to tell them--family and friends--as often as possible how much you love them and how important they are to you, how much they mean to you. Hold your loved one a little closer each day...
A good thing to do is to write in a journal the things that you loved most about that person, and then on the other side of the paper write what you wish you could have said to them if they were still alive. It is very therapeutic. In case of divorce, write what you could have done differently, and on the other side of the paper write what you did bring to the relationship that was positive.
For me, I lost an uncle, an aunt, an energy healer teacher and friend, and now my 13 year old dog, companion, friend, and fur kid is slowly passing on to the Other Side. It has been a rough 2009 to 2010. I lost my grandma in 2006, who had many of the abilities that I have, so I have no one to talk to about what I deal with from day to day. She always just "knew" things. Now I understand that part of her, and she isn't here for me to talk about it with her. That is really sad for me. I have only one grandma left, but her mind is gone to Alzheimer's, she has begun her journey to the Other Side.
It isn't supposed to be easy. Pray, pray, pray. Talk to others about it. Write about your feelings. Talk to those who have passed, and you will get signs from them that they are still somehow among us. The Other Side is not so far away, it is just another space and time, but they walk among us, and know what we are doing here on earth. Stay in tuned to the signs that your loved ones may be sending you. Right now is hard for me because, my grandma that I spoke of that had abilities like me, always wanted to see our baby, so I know that we will have a baby. She never gave away what the sex would be, she knitted a yellow blanket, not pink or blue. Sadly, when she died, all of her personal belongings were thrown away in a family dispute. I lost the blanket. I hope that somehow she will get that blanket to me. The adoption is a tough waiting game to begin with, but I always thought she would be here to see the baby. So I know when we finally adopt, she will be here. I hope I will know she's here, and I hope the baby will see her and know just how special she is!!! Also, my dog, Max, was just diagnosed with diabetes. He is not doing very well. I have not prepared myself for the day that he would leave. He is not the type of dog that expresses himself like other dogs, and he keeps his distance normally. Now he is very close to me, losing his sight, and giving me feelings of no fear, no sadness, only peacefulness. He has clarity even though he is nearly blind. He feels safe. I am a mess. I know that I will see him again. But I think, for me, the love of a dog, is by far different from the love of a person. They love you unconditionally. There is no judgement. They know who you are truly, and that is that. Also, they are who they are, and that is that. They don't want you to change for them, and they are not going to change for you. They go Home peacefully, without any worry of what happened here. We should be more like our dogs...
Sylvia Browne suggests saying to yourself everyday this week: "I do not push against life; instead, I let God and my chart guide me. I measure my life by my motives when I fear that I have done wrong things, and I realize that I did not mean to hurt anyone."
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