Getting Past The Guilt

What makes us so focused on the negative instead of the positive? If someone were to point out how smart you are and how attractive your sibling is, why do we automatically assume that they think we are unattractive? That is what we do. But why? For whatever the reason, so much lies on the outcome. You see, we put so much into these comments that people make about us. And even if we know that it is unreasonable, we still do it. Again, I say, but why? Why do we do this to ourselves? It is a horrible thing to do. We begin to forget who we really are based on what others determine us to be. Basically, we are allowing others to decide our identities, and that is just not healthy! This can affect us on a physical, emotional or a soul level--none being healthy at all!!!

So going back to the negative stuff that seems to stick. Why does it stick? Why does it hurt so badly? Well first of all, the negative stuff is the stuff that we pay attention to. When someone is criticising you, you listen. It tends to occur in the most unguarded of moments, so it really hurts like someone punched you in the gut. Then you accept it as your own identity. Sadly, we do this, because each time we get a negative blow thrown our way, a piece of us is peeled away. We lose a sense of our real identity in the process. The negative stuff then stays--that is just the way it is. Our environment is negative, therefore, negative energy thrives here. Our human body is vulnerable here in this negative environment.

If all of this seems to be so horrible that we will never get over it, don't fret. We can get past it. Whatever is eating away at you that is causing you to feel negative about your self, your own identity, you can get past it. You can move on. There is hope. Reflect on the positive. There have been positive ideas in your life that others have told you, that you know you own, etc. Reflect on positive ideas that you have absorbed from your life, your environment, from others about you. These positive ideas determine who you are not the negative words or ideas that people have put into your mind throughout your life. Replace the hurtful words, phrases, ideas, etc. with positive mesages in your mind. When we are positive, we can then be in a state of loving. It is only then when people will like you/love you for who you really are. Remember also to always to be in a state of loving and not in a state of hoping in order to be loved. Then and only then is when love will come to you. (Thank you Sylvia Browne, Lessons for Life.)

As I still work through my first step with Sylvia Browne and her book, Lessons for Life, I am still working on realizing my own essence. I am realizing that I still have a lot of guilt. I still have to work out a lot of negative thoughts that people have told me through the years. But I am able to get past the guilt and move on. I can replace the negative thoughts with positive thoughts. I will be able to realize my own essence!!!

Guilt, Can You Move On?

For me, I have already had a hard time getting through the first step on my journey of self-discovery. I find it extremely hard to overcome doing things for other people, and not doing them for myself. Ever since I was a child, I wanted to make others happy, whether it be for my mom or for my teachers. I wanted them to be proud of me. I was so worried about other peers' opinions of me. What were they saying behind my back? Were they telling me the truth to my face? I took criticism as though it were the last judgment day. Perfection to me was not to find my essence. I needed to get rid of all this guilt that I had. I felt guilty for not being the best. When my mom told me to just be good enough, that I don't have to be the best. I took that as though she already saw me as a failure. In my mind, my mom already saw me as an underachiever.

Sylvia Browne mentions in her book, Lessons for Life, the first step to developing your essence, or finding your self, is to realize that good people often have a bad opinion of themselves. Good people seem to be more subject to worry and guilt because they monitor themselves to keep on the right path. They have a built- in alarm system, Sylvia Browne calls guilt. This guilt, or conscience, keeps us from harming other living things and people. When my mom was pregnant with me, she had placenta previa, meaning that the placenta was on the bottom. The placenta is the afterbirth, so it should be on top to come out after the baby is born, hence the name "afterbirth." There were no ultrasounds back then, so no one knew that the placenta was misplaced. When I was ready to come into the world, the placenta ruptured--I'll not go into graphics, but it had to go somewhere, and it went all over the bedsheets in pieces. This is called placenta abruptio. My mom had no labor, I came out as soon as my mom reached the hospital. They told her, do not cough, sneeze or even breathe, because you are already crowning.

I made quite an entrance. With the way I came into the world, would you believe, I actually feel guilty about it? How can you feel guilty about how you are born? Can you get past this? How? Obviously, if you can trace your guilt back to the day you were born, you are in trouble. But can it be fixed? Can you move on? Yes, you can. You have to get past it to find your self, your essence.....