Unlocking Past Negative Memories

This is a tough thing for me to talk about. I consider myself a good Catholic Christian person. But, I believe that there are more to our memories than what has occurred in this life. And of course, in order for this to be true, we would have had to live previous lives. The Catholic Doctrine does not teach us anything about living more than our one life on Earth and then our life in Heaven after we die. We are not taught that we can come back to live and die again, and perhaps if need be again and again...

Have you ever had an anxiety or panic attack? Everyone at some point has felt anxiety about something in their life. It usually comes out of nowhere. Your palms sweat, your heart races, you can't breathe, and sometimes you feel like you are having a heart attack. I've been there! My brother started having panic attacks a year ago out of the blue. They began when he approached bridges. As he would get closer and closer to the bridge, he would panic more and more. He said he could almost imagine himself blacking out and driving into the water or traffic below--depending on what the bridge was over. He got to the point where he could not drive over bridges anymore. He couldn't explain it. Nothing ever happened to him on or near a bridge, and nothing ever happened to anyone he knew on or near a bridge. So why is he so fearful of bridges? Why the panic attacks? Was it just a phobia? Is there such a thing as "just" a phobia?

As I have talked about before, negative thoughts tend to stick over the positive thoughts--or negative words last over positive words. Well if these negative thoughts, words, and even experiences are so pronounced in our memories, then many of them cause our fears, phobias, and anxieties of today from what happened in our past. Well, what about stuff that we know did not happen in our past, at least not in this lifetime? Obviously, it seems likely that some of those memories could remain imprints in our mind from previous lifetimes. Some experiences that caused negative memories in a past life, may emerge in this lifetime because of an event that triggers the memory. My brother, for example, may have been pushed off a bridge in a former life, or he may have had a seizure and drove off a bridge and died in one of his former lives. Perhaps he died in a former life driving off a bridge at age 28 or 29. He turned 29 last August, but began having these panic attacks at bridges just before he turned 29 years old. Maybe his age triggered it. Who knows?!? The thing is that it isn't relevant to his life now. It is a negative fear from a past life that is no longer relevant to this life now. What has to be done to keep the soul safe is to release the negative fear from a past life.

I believe you can and should explore these past memories--from this life and past lives. You can investigate by analyzing your memories to see what you have learned from them. But you also have to neutralize any negative memories and release them. This turns negative events into opportunities for positive growth. By embracing the very thing that haunts you from this life as well as from past lives, you stop the soul from growing. We are expected to make mistakes, but it's how you fix your mistakes that really matters. It is not easy to pine over painful memories from your life. Next time you find yourself focusing too much on these painful negative memories, ask yourself this question: Do you want to see yourself trapped by these negative memories, or do you want to see each memory as one moment in your life, no matter how painful, that you were able to grow as a person from and become stronger--to become who you are today?

It is true that the difference between a negative memory and negative thought is that you cannot just swap it for a positive one. You cannot replace that memory. It will always be there. A thought can be changed from a negative one to a positive one though. What we have to realize is that a memory is just that, a memory of an event or a time. When you take a balanced look at the positive and the negative events in your life, take pride in what you've overcome and what you've become because of the sum of the total of all your experiences. In Sylvia Browne's book Lessons for Life, she says to ask God to help you to replace any negative feelings that are attached to bad memories and pray: "It was only a learning process. I have been loved, and I can love." She also says to do an exercise by writing your painful memories on one side of a paper and your positive memories on the opposite side of the paper. At the bottom of the paper, write down your conclusions. What did you learn from these experiences? Ask your soul and God to give you insight into why you suffered. "When life gives you pits, I'll plant them and grow cherry trees."

Getting Past The Guilt

What makes us so focused on the negative instead of the positive? If someone were to point out how smart you are and how attractive your sibling is, why do we automatically assume that they think we are unattractive? That is what we do. But why? For whatever the reason, so much lies on the outcome. You see, we put so much into these comments that people make about us. And even if we know that it is unreasonable, we still do it. Again, I say, but why? Why do we do this to ourselves? It is a horrible thing to do. We begin to forget who we really are based on what others determine us to be. Basically, we are allowing others to decide our identities, and that is just not healthy! This can affect us on a physical, emotional or a soul level--none being healthy at all!!!

So going back to the negative stuff that seems to stick. Why does it stick? Why does it hurt so badly? Well first of all, the negative stuff is the stuff that we pay attention to. When someone is criticising you, you listen. It tends to occur in the most unguarded of moments, so it really hurts like someone punched you in the gut. Then you accept it as your own identity. Sadly, we do this, because each time we get a negative blow thrown our way, a piece of us is peeled away. We lose a sense of our real identity in the process. The negative stuff then stays--that is just the way it is. Our environment is negative, therefore, negative energy thrives here. Our human body is vulnerable here in this negative environment.

If all of this seems to be so horrible that we will never get over it, don't fret. We can get past it. Whatever is eating away at you that is causing you to feel negative about your self, your own identity, you can get past it. You can move on. There is hope. Reflect on the positive. There have been positive ideas in your life that others have told you, that you know you own, etc. Reflect on positive ideas that you have absorbed from your life, your environment, from others about you. These positive ideas determine who you are not the negative words or ideas that people have put into your mind throughout your life. Replace the hurtful words, phrases, ideas, etc. with positive mesages in your mind. When we are positive, we can then be in a state of loving. It is only then when people will like you/love you for who you really are. Remember also to always to be in a state of loving and not in a state of hoping in order to be loved. Then and only then is when love will come to you. (Thank you Sylvia Browne, Lessons for Life.)

As I still work through my first step with Sylvia Browne and her book, Lessons for Life, I am still working on realizing my own essence. I am realizing that I still have a lot of guilt. I still have to work out a lot of negative thoughts that people have told me through the years. But I am able to get past the guilt and move on. I can replace the negative thoughts with positive thoughts. I will be able to realize my own essence!!!

Guilt, Can You Move On?

For me, I have already had a hard time getting through the first step on my journey of self-discovery. I find it extremely hard to overcome doing things for other people, and not doing them for myself. Ever since I was a child, I wanted to make others happy, whether it be for my mom or for my teachers. I wanted them to be proud of me. I was so worried about other peers' opinions of me. What were they saying behind my back? Were they telling me the truth to my face? I took criticism as though it were the last judgment day. Perfection to me was not to find my essence. I needed to get rid of all this guilt that I had. I felt guilty for not being the best. When my mom told me to just be good enough, that I don't have to be the best. I took that as though she already saw me as a failure. In my mind, my mom already saw me as an underachiever.

Sylvia Browne mentions in her book, Lessons for Life, the first step to developing your essence, or finding your self, is to realize that good people often have a bad opinion of themselves. Good people seem to be more subject to worry and guilt because they monitor themselves to keep on the right path. They have a built- in alarm system, Sylvia Browne calls guilt. This guilt, or conscience, keeps us from harming other living things and people. When my mom was pregnant with me, she had placenta previa, meaning that the placenta was on the bottom. The placenta is the afterbirth, so it should be on top to come out after the baby is born, hence the name "afterbirth." There were no ultrasounds back then, so no one knew that the placenta was misplaced. When I was ready to come into the world, the placenta ruptured--I'll not go into graphics, but it had to go somewhere, and it went all over the bedsheets in pieces. This is called placenta abruptio. My mom had no labor, I came out as soon as my mom reached the hospital. They told her, do not cough, sneeze or even breathe, because you are already crowning.

I made quite an entrance. With the way I came into the world, would you believe, I actually feel guilty about it? How can you feel guilty about how you are born? Can you get past this? How? Obviously, if you can trace your guilt back to the day you were born, you are in trouble. But can it be fixed? Can you move on? Yes, you can. You have to get past it to find your self, your essence.....

My Path of Self-Discovery

Sylvia Browne has a book entitled Lessons for Life. I will be quoting this book a lot during this journey that I am taking to discover who I really am. For many years, I tried to hide so that people wouldn't know the real Me. I was scared how they would take it. I felt like I would be judged very hard. When I was younger, I had a very hard time dealing with how other people felt about what I did. I always did things to make others happy. I never tried to make myself happy. I'm sure that I probably had a pretty good idea what would bring me joy, but I fought it. I knew what other people wanted me to do, so I chose that path.

I was always a very different child. I was never like the other kids. I couldn't quite fit in anywhere. I could make friends from any group, and I would jump around from one group to the next because I had many abilities, but it was not really what I wanted. I think the other kids knew that I didn't want to be popular, that I didn't want to be noticed, that I wanted to blend in, and that I was hiding something. I always had a way of "knowing" things. This made it harder and harder to hide my true self the older I became.

As I entered my 30's, I began to realize that I would be OK if people knew the real Me. So I began peeling away at the layers that I had built up to hide what existed underneath. And slowly but surely, the real "Me" is appearing to all those who come in contact with me, even my own self.

It has been and continues to be an amazing journey of self-discovery, and I think now is a great time to invite you all in to join me to see what happens next. You see, I think now it is beginning to get really exciting. Everyday I discover something new and wonderful about not only myself, but how the world around me is connected to me in a way that I would have never imagined. So please follow me down this path of many twists and turns to find out who I really am. We will leave no stone unturned on the path toward Me!